If you show me a picture of an animal that's supposed to have Sex Partner Who Is More Attracted to Married Womenhair or feathers without hair or feathers, I'll show you what I look like when I scream as loud as I can and throw a computer across the room.
Twitter, it seems, is on the same page.
SEE ALSO: Meet the woman who quit her NYC job to run a baby goat sanctuaryWriter and comedian Dana Schwartz was doing some important googling and came across an image revealing what owls look like without feathers.
I just googled what owls look like without feathers and I am severely shook pic.twitter.com/B12IJ1atYl
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 8, 2017
Owls, it turns out, are bug-birds with 98% alien DNA. If you didn't know, it's because the government didn't want you to know. If this information spreads, the public will become panicked and the economy could plummet.
Schwartz's thread quickly turned into a game of "who can share the most shocking hairless creature" and guess what, everybody won.
@DanaSchwartzzz because of this I googled "Chickens Without Feathers" and it is equally horrifying pic.twitter.com/rjztpxsk0n
— Peyton McLeod (@tpmcleod) January 8, 2017
Everything you thought you knew is a lie.
@DanaSchwartzzz Bald hedgehogs are testicles with a face pic.twitter.com/v7VNUdHu9W
— James H (@angusprune) January 8, 2017
@DanaSchwartzzz bears without fur take the cake though pic.twitter.com/nkfSxv2sPS
— Alexander Luthor (@BlactimusPrime) January 8, 2017
There are secrets to this universe that you are not privy to.
@looks_last @tittenkits @patel_jesse @DanaSchwartzzz I would like to submit a hairless possum for your enjoyment. pic.twitter.com/jnI8xcCp6X
— aggro (@argobagdr) January 9, 2017
Nothing is concrete. All of life is but a theory.
@patel_jesse @DanaSchwartzzz I did as you suggested (oh my god) and this wee wizard popped up in image results. pic.twitter.com/KVrz1Pccy3
— Jane (@looks_last) January 8, 2017
Go now, return to your life. Forget that you've seen this.
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